i've come to a realisation that maybe i will never be good enough for anything. not even for anyone. constantly doing the wrong things, saying the wrong things. i can't even make up my mind. indecisive. all the confidence and strength i've gathered, crushed as it slipped through my slippery hands, with a strong wind that suddenly came blowing all its' pieces away. as much as i try to be careful with my words and actions, i think i'm being too cautious that it is slowly tearing me down. like a pillow being stabbed with a knife with all the feathers puffing out of the case. i just don't want to wake up, maybe that way i won't do anything wrong anymore.